Written By Jeffrey Gitomer

KING OF SALES, The author of seventeen best-selling books including The Sales Bible, The Little Red Book of Selling, and The Little Gold Book of Yes! Attitude. His live coaching program, Sales Mastery, is available at gitomer.me.

Got edges? Give edges?

Understanding the other persons edges, and identifying your own, is a revelation in reality. It’s also a guide to the strength of a friendship and a relationship.

Here are some places where edges are apparent:

Cheering at a ball game. Fan or fanatic? Too much face paint? Too much beer? Too much prejudice? All show your edges.

Interacting with a child. How effective are your communications? How patient are you? How understanding are you? Do you yell? Spank? Bad parenting in public is one of the biggest negative energies in the world.

Interacting with a pet. This may not have been on your “edge radar,” but AV (after Vick) it’s a frequent topic of conversation. How do you pet?

Drinking at a bar. This is one of the best. Social interaction, meet markets, too much to drink, drunks, rejection, fights, and designated drivers, are all part of the social and business edge.

Table manners. Manners were drilled into me by my mother. And I thank her for it every day. No elbows on the table, wait to eat until all are served, especially the cook, don’t talk with your mouth full, and other simple, yet revealing, personal actions.

Arguing. This is a huge edge factor. How far do you go in a disagreement? Are you abusive? Insulting? Defending your “rightness?” how stubborn are you, even when it’s evident you were wrong? How apologetic are you when it’s over?

Traffic reactions. How fast do you give the international symbol of goodwill to an offender? What do you say? How fast do you recover?

During negotiations — making a sale. How manipulative are you? Trying old world techniques? How sincere are you? Trying for a short term sale or a long term relationship? Whatever you are doing is being observed, and judged.

Asking for SERVICE. As an unhappy customer you display emotion that reveals your true personality. Demanding? Rude? Pushing too far? Taking away someone’s dignity.

Personal appearance. Too fat, too thin, ripped, too revealing, too sloppy, fashionable, and too conservative are all part of the edge decisions you make on others, and of yourself as you look in the mirror.