Source: The Power to Influence People
by: Dr. Orlando A. Battista Prentice-Hall, Inc. 1959.
The Ten Principles of Influencing andDealing With People
1. Speak evil of no one. This first principle of success in dealing withpeople is the cornerstone around which the other nine principles must begrouped. The urge to criticize, to belittle, to defame, to hurt others is auniversal weakness of human nature. Your ability to overwhelm this undercurrentof human behavior grows out of a rigid policy of refusing to speak evil ofanyone.
2. Never seek personal gain at the expense of somebody else. Principlenumber two has a way of creeping into your behavior with the stealthiness of atermite. It is way worth a careful examination of conscience regularly to makesure you are not violating it.
3. Live today- and deposit your worries in the bank of tomorrow. Itwas the great physician, Sir William Osler, who constantly advised hisemotionally tense patents to “live in daytight compartments.” To livethis advice you must teach yourself to worry about important things first, andonly one at a time.
4. Avoid hurt feelings at all costs. Probably the least charitable ofall human reaction is that of refusing to forgive. It is so sad to see and hearof people who, because of a single hurt, will go through year after year ofhatred and bitterness toward the person who caused the hurt. Because humanbeings are so sensitive to hurt feelings, and because there are few humanbeings who can shrug off an insult or an injustice, you can do your popularityand influence with others a lasting disservice each time you inadvertently orotherwise hurt another person’s feelings.
5. Love life and people openly. Love others for their sake as well asfor you own. Refuse to give hate a chance to get even its foot in the door ofyour innermost emotions. Hate is a poison that quickly vitiates your characterand causes your personality to degenerate.
6. Serve others unselfishly: There is no better way to influence people.“No one can be a self-contained entity” Charles F. Ketterubg oncetold me. “You are either going to serve somebody or be a servant tosomebody if you are going to contribute anything to the world in which welive.”
7. Keep your sights on the other person’s drives. Most peoplecompletely ignore what “drives” the other fellow because they are sotaken up with trying to drive themselves! Is it any wonder that they havehead-on collisions? It is the fellow who figures out why the other fellow willdo things, why he wants to do things, that has perfect command of anysituation.
8. Never give your word or make a promise you cannot keep or back up.“Always keep a promise or you word, son,” my father once advised me.” a broken promise or a broken work is as hard to repair as a brokenmirror!” Perhaps the best way to adhere to this principle is to avoidmaking careless and unnecessary promises.
9. Treasure your health – take all the time you need to keep well. Itis absurd, but there are numerous graveyards wherin lie those short’livedmeteors who enjoyed success and popularity for a brief moment, only to realizetoo late they had ruined their “bearings” and as a result, burned outtheir hearts. Success without good health, apart from its short-livedness, islike eating food without tasting the flavor. Few sins of Americans in pursuitof success are more obvious than the flagrant disrespect people on the road tosuccess show their bodies.
10. Think, think, think that you will be successful in your dealings withpeople. There are two common ways that people mistakenly look upon success:1. They feel they are successful as soon as they are sure that others look uponthem as being very successful. 2. They assume they are successful because thefeel superior to others. The man or woman who falls prey to the second idea ofsuccess soon finds it is suicidal, literally self-destructive. Real success andinfluence can only be built upon a recognition that they, like every good thingin this life, are willingly given to you or recognized by others with theirwillingness, initiative, and consent. The great Apostle Paul, upon the occasionof his striking conversion to a better way of life, had the soundest advice Ihave been able to find anywhere on how the become successful in dealing withpeople. What he wrote to his friends can be summed up as follows: “I amgoing to live a noble life from this day forward, because I think I can.”