You are the essence of your reactions and your responses.

You are the essence of your reactions and your responses.

Written By Jeffrey Gitomer

KING OF SALES, The author of seventeen best-selling books including The Sales Bible, The Little Red Book of Selling, and The Little Gold Book of Yes! Attitude. His live coaching program, Sales Mastery, is available at

I tweeted: “Resilience doesn’t start with experience – it STARTS with attitude – your attitude.”

It got more than 100 “re-tweets.” Evidently people understood what I was saying and chose to tell others. But since Twitter only allows 140 characters, I wanted to elaborate on the word resilience because it has a much deeper meaning than I was able to provide in one tweet.

PICTURE THIS: Your boss says, “Make 100 cold calls this week.” And the first 20 people you call hang up on you.
PICTURE THIS: You have one prospect left this month and if they don’t buy, you don’t make your quota. They call you and say, “We’ve decided to buy from your competition.”
PICTURE THIS: You get an email from your boss telling you that they’ve revised the comp plan and unless you do 20% more you’ll earn 20% less.
PICTURE THIS: You finally get an appointment with the biggest prospect you’ve ever had. They’ve agreed to see you for one hour. You arrive and the decision maker doesn’t show up.

Those are all real-world sales occurrences that every one of you has experienced.

Resilience is how you react, respond, and recover from those situations.

It’s important to note that all of these challenges test your mental strength. Resilience starts with your own strength of attitude. If you are easily dismayed, your self-confidence level is low, your self-esteemis lacking, or your self-image is in doubt – each of these PICTURE THIS circumstances is taken as a disaster. Your resilience level (on a 1-100 scale) is under 10.

And the ground between 10 and 100 is whereyour experience combined with your self-education is called into play. Attitude resilience challenges your thought process to get from a negative response of “woe is me” to a more positive response of “I can deal with this. I can overcome this. Here are a few ideas that I have right now that will help me… Here are the actions that I’m willing to make things better…” and most important, “I’m not going to let these events or situations cause me to think ill of myself, or put myself down.”

And keep in mind that this is just the reaction part of resilience.

Once you’ve processed each one of these circumstances and reacted to them mentally, now it’s time to respond to them. Your response is a combination of your attitude, your past experience, and your resilience.

Your inner strength manifesting itself in words and deeds.

Most people fail to understand that response is triggered by thought. If you want to use theterm “knee-jerk response,” it normally means response without thinking, especially in negative situations.

Each one of you has experienced a dumb response. Something like: “I’m doing the best I can,”or “I’m just doing what I’ve been told,” or some response that’s excusebased rather than response based. Anyone can make an excuse. It takes aperson of character to figure out what they can do, be in control of their own emotions, think quickly on their feet, and come up with something that is forward moving rather than self-defeating.

Something that’s on the offense rather than being offensive. Something that states willingness rather than creates a defense. Something that says what you can do, not what you can’t do. Something that states what could happen, rather than restates what just happened.

And keep in mind that this is just the response part of resilience.

Now it’s time for your resilience to really shine. You’ve reacted in a positive way, you’ve responded in a positive way, and now you must recover in a personal way – not just with the people involved, but rather take stock in who you are as a person, and take the lesson in how this will help build you and build your character instead of looking around to see who is to blame, become defensive, or make some lame excuse about it or they – never taking responsibility for you.

Recovery lays the groundwork for the next reaction. Recovery after recovery builds the foundation of your resilience. Positive recovery after positive recovery builds a foundation of cement and concrete reinforced with steel rods.

You build your stature, you build your self-esteem, you build your self-reliance, you build your self-confidence, and you do it with inner strength combined with mental strength. You can call it fortitude or you can call it guts, but I’m challenging you to think of it as resilience – because it’s going to happen more than once.

So I’ve given you react, respond, and recover. Let me add a .5 to this list of three. Integrity. Every time an opportunity arises, every time your character or your attitude is challenged and you react, respond, and recover in a positive way, you build personal integrity for who you are, and you seek to become.

You never have to talk about it. Others will see itand see that strength within you. Others will talk about you in a positive way, admire you in a verbal and silent way – and others will seek to follow you in an exemplary way.

Well, I seem to have used up my 140 characters. On a personal note, I’ll confess that my resilience is challenged daily – not just as a salesperson, not just as a businessperson; but also as a father, grandfather, and a friend.

Resilience knows no boundaries.

But every time an opportunity arises to build mine, I eagerly welcome it and all the lessons attached thereto.

I hope you do the same.